Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize