I just cut my nipple shaving
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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