just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
