I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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