Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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