A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nicole vs. Life
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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