One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
