beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
