i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
