im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she peed on how many people?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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