I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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