Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're a waste of cheezeits
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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