Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I need water and some morals
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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