I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A+ Viking dick
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
