So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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