I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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