she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
