how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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