Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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