brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
