R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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