drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
