On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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