How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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