Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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