I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
