sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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