Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
