Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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