You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As shirtless as possible
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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