When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
