I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
