she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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