Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What drink are we having for lunch?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
