I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize