We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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