I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
