Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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