Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
