Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
