Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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