I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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