Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
