I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
