My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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