birth control should be required to get into college
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
