I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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