I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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