Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize