Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
