Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize