hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am naked and annoyed.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
