At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
