Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
