And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
