You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
