Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
