Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
