That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
