yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She even gives head with a lisp.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
