physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize