I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
