I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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