it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
