Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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