party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize