Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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