I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
MIDGETS
????
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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