Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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